"What if," "Nevertheless," or "It's Not Natural"a sermon by Marc Blakesley Contemporary Text Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Scripture Readings Protect me, O God, for in you I take refuge. When it was evening on that day, the first day of the week, and the doors of the house where the disciples had met were locked for fear of the Jews, Jesus came and stood among them and said, "Peace be with you." After he said this, he showed them his hands and his side. Then the disciples rejoiced when they saw the Lord. Jesus said to them again, "Peace be with you. As the Creator has sent me, so I send you." When he had said this, he breathed on them and said to them, "Receive the Holy Spirit. If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven them; if you retain the sins of any, they are retained." But Thomas (who was called the Twin), one of the twelve, was not with them when Jesus came. So the other disciples told him, "We have seen the Lord." But he said to them, "Unless I see the mark of the nails in his hands, and put my finger in the mark of the nails and my hand in his side, I will not believe." A week later his disciples were again in the house, and Thomas was with them. Although the doors were shut, Jesus came and stood among them and said, "Peace be with you." Then he said to Thomas, "Put your finger here and see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it in my side. Do not doubt but believe." Thomas answered him, "My Lord and my God!" Jesus said to him, "Have you believed because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have come to believe." John 20:19-29 You know this gospel story, the story of "Doubting Thomas." It is one of those biblical stories that we seem to hear again and again. Even those of us who claim some larger biblical knowledge than the common masses, have to admit we use and give this story a whole lot more weight than it probably deserves (in comparison to the vast amount of stories and words of wisdom and inspiration in the bible as a whole). Here again some Christians use another person as a scapegoat, poor Thomas. It is so easy to heap our own doubts and questions upon someone else and refuse to see our own issues. I mean, it was just last Sunday in the Easter text that all of the men were questioning the resurrection of Jesus when those flaky women came running with their story. Remember: Now it was Mary Magdalene, Joanna, Mary the mother of James, and the other women with them who told this to the apostles. But these words seemed to them an idle tale, and they did not believe them. Peter even had to run to the tomb and see for himself before he could believe. Some worshiping communities may have heard the story of Jesus' appearance to the disciples on the road to Emmaus last Sunday. Those two disciples are so grief stricken at the event of holy week, for them culminating with the death of their friend on across, that they can't even see the post-resurrection Christ in there midst. It's not until he does something he told them to do regularly, break bread and remember me, that they recognize him. All four of the gospels have some reference to the sighting of the post-resurrection Christ. But, it is only the author of John's gospel who chooses to put this brief nine sentence paragraph about Thomas (the twin) in the story. Luke and John put Jesus appearance within a week after his death. Both Mark and Luke have the Emmaus story I spoke of earlier. And Matthew has a little snippet about Jesus appearance on a mountain top right before his ascension. Mark references some doubters, not just one and not Thomas by name. So, why is it not possible for these gospels to agree on this stuff? They all have sightings of the Risen Christ, but not in the same context or time frame. It is because each of these gospels were written out of and speak to the specific needs of their own specific community of this new religious movement simply known as "The Way." So, it begs the question: What was going on in John's community that caused the story of "doubting Thomas" to be a part the narrative or even what was going on in that community that there would be so much more focus placed on the post-resurrection Christ than in any of the other gospels? And how does this doubting play out against the words of Psalm 16 which speaks with such certainty: "O God, for in you I take refuge. I say to God "You are my Lord; I have no good apart from you." And, as a good preacher, it begs the question: What is the current culture and dynamic of the community of faith known as "Spirit of the Lakes" and of the wider Christian community that God has placed on my heart to address today? If your pastor, James, looks back at the first draft of the bulletin I e-mailed him, he would see a sermon title of "What if?" But, after hearing the Reverend Beth Donaldson preach last Sunday at the United Church of Christ in New Brighton, I was leaning towards a title for this morning's message of "Nevertheless." Then as I read and thought more over this past week, I was moving more toward a title of "It's Not Natural." Well, if you look at your bulletin, there is no sermon title. Partly, this is because I could not get to a title before the publishing deadline, but mostly because God was giving me more than I could narrow down into one of those sermon titles. But, nevertheless, life goes on. This community of faith is good at having a "life goes on" attitude and motivation. Though only 19 years old, you have been through a lot and still you hold on. A common faith binds you together even as you struggle with questions and doubt. For, you believe yourselves to be the "Body of the Risen Christ" and, at the same time, Christ's disciples in this moment and place. You are both evidence of the resurrection and the one's doubting, all at the same time. You believe that you are the heart and hands and voice of God's extravagant welcome to those who have been marginalized and shunned by our society and, yes, even by the church. As a church you are seeking to be an "authentic Christian community." Nevertheless, you await the tearing down of this building and the rising up of a new structure. As much as that is exciting, it is a huge act of faith. No matter what the architectural drawings look like and how much you envision the new structure, it is uncertain what it will ultimately look and feel like until it is done. And then, my friends, it will be done. What if it does not feel right? What if it does not look like what you imagined? When Jesus tried to tell his disciples what he would be going through and trying to give them some glimpse of what it would be like afterwards, they didn't want to hear it, much less believe it. They didn't get it. And when it happened, nevertheless, they didn't recognize it. Now that does not mean that what happened was not good. If it was not, we would not be part of a universal Christian church that is over 2000 year old and those things that the pre-crucifixion Jesus taught us would have died on the cross with him and stayed dead. Being an "authentic Christian community" means not only being a place where you believe in what Jesus did before those who feared him had him killed… by reaching out and welcoming ALL in, by feeding the hungry and sheltering the homeless, by touching and talking with those whom society does not recognize as having worth, but it also means believing in the resurrection power that brings new things out of things that get torn down. Even when we are not 100% sure of what that looks like. Trust me, even after all the units are sold in that new housing complex and you have a new space on the first floor, there will still be those who will look at it and not see it for what it is. There will still be those who doubt it the best thing for you. But that will not negate what has happened and that it is good. Life out of death is not "natural" But it is "holy." I have a co-worker that since the time I started working at the Saint Paul Area Council of Churches has needed surgery on both of her knees. Not full knee replacement, but partial work on them to make them function better. I am not a surgeon and do not pretend to know all the details of the procedure. But I knew that she was very scared and had put this procedure off more than once since last June. True, this is not "natural," having man-made items placed in one's body; but nevertheless, it needed to be done to sustain her quality of life. The last time I saw her at the office before surgery, she told me that if anything happened to her while she was in surgery she want me to give the homily at her funeral. I am sure I am not the first to hear such a request from someone going into surgery, but how does one respond to such request? Understanding that I needed to respect her wishes and make sure that arrangements were made so that they could be kept (but also reassure her that things are going to be fine), I told her that I would if it came to that and that she needed to let her daughter know of her wishes. I then prayed like hell that everything would go just fine. Was I doubting the power of our God and the ability of her doctors; or was I just being practical? To be honest, "Yes, I was!" Even the next day, when her daughter called and said who she was, my first thought was: "Oh No!" Thank God she quickly said, "Mom wanted me to call and let you know that things went fine." Nevertheless, both of us had questions and doubted the resurrection power of our God. It's not "natural" to have this kind of surgery and be out walking the halls of the hospital in less than 24 hours. It's not "natural" to be in your home within such a short time of being in rehab at a nursing home. It's not "natural" to be back to work in six and a half weeks after such a major surgery, walking only with the assistance of a cane (primarily because the other knee that now needs to be done). This dear friend told me during lunch while she was recovering, that she said to her daughter right before they took her into surgery "Good-bye," really believing that she would not see them again in this world. But the God of Jesus, the God of the one we believe overcame the grave to show us ways of new life (even in our doubting) gives us new life, again and again, even when it's not "natural" -- especially when it's not "natural." But, what if… What if she had not survive surgery? What if the financing and everything you have done in preparation for your new building falls apart? And so I move on to the "What if's". It was a Sunday morning in June and I was off to lead worship services in Sauk Centre (halfway between St. Cloud and my hometown of Alexandria on I-94). I left the house around 6:30 that morning; armed with a sermon, my robe, and enough clothes for an extra couple days at my folks in Alexandria. A 9:00 service at the United Methodist Church. Walk across the street for a service with the United Church of Christ congregation at 10:30, on the road to Alexandria by 11:45. A lovely extended weekend all planned out. Very light traffic as I headed out of Minneapolis. Ann Murray was singing "There Will Be Peace in Valley" on the CD player. The warm summer sun was blazing bright. This was going to be a great mini-vacation. By the time the second service was over, the bright sunshine that had greeted me on my drive from Minneapolis to Sauk Centre had been covered with dark clouds. It was raining and my cheery disposition and my dreams of some fun in the sun had faded away. The windshield wipers on my little GEO Metro were working over-time as I drove that old highway from Sauk Centre to West Union through Osakis to the city limits of Alexandria, and then that quick right turn down Birch Avenue towards home. It was in that half mile stretch down Birch Avenue that I began to realize that my weekend plans were being altered. As I got closer and closer to the family home, I began to feel the wave of emotion that comes when things are just not right. I started to begin to doubt that there was going to be anything fun or relaxing during my time at the old family homestead. You see, Mom and Dad had planned to be in church in Sauk Centre, but they weren't there. Mom had called me on Tuesday to let me know that they had been over to Sauk Centre the past weekend and found the church, so they knew where it was. They always tried to make it to any church that I was filling in at (if it was within 30 miles or so of home). I was kind of disappointed when I didn't see them in church, but Mother had good days and bad days, and she probably was just not feeling well that morning. But as I got closer and closer to home, and saw the number of cars in the drive way, something told me that Mom was not sick. Mom was gone. What if… What if I had come up earlier and not planned to visit after worship? What if I had come up more often in the past year? What if I had been a better son, like there was something I could have done to prevent this day from coming or I had done something to cause God to do this? What if… Now, this day was not a complete surprise to me. Mom had been on oxygen for close to four years. She had been in and out of the hospital in that same time, and down to the Mayo Clinic in Rochester. I pulled into the driveway, ran through the pouring ran, and into the basement. I saw the machine at the bottom the stairs that we had all become accustom to, it was shut off and the tubing gently curled up and place beside it. Even though all physical signs pointed to the reality of my mother's death, like Thomas, I was not with them when it happened, so until Dad would tell me otherwise something inside me would say, "I will not believe." And, so the other disciples told Thomas, "We have seen the Lord." But he said to them, "Unless I see, I will not believe." I reached the top of the stairs, went in and saw my Dad sitting on the bed. As I saw the look on his face, he told me that Mom was gone. Even though I thought of it as I drove down Birch Avenue… Even though I had suspected it when I got into the basement and saw the Oxygen condenser shut off, seeing and hearing my Dad hit me like a sledge hammer and I felt completely alone and abandoned. Even though my faith told me otherwise, nevertheless, I felt this event, that is a natural part of life, was not natural. I knew this day was coming. Mother and I had prepared for it. But here I was living with doubt on the other side of the Easter story, my own "Good Friday" moment on that Sunday afternoon in June. But all the planning in the world, all the forewarning that Jesus gave his disciples, did not totally prepare them or me for everything that comes with this kind of news. After seeing my dad, I had a brief conversation with my brother. Contact had been made with my sister, Patti, in Montana and she was booked on a flight into Minneapolis. My brother said, "We just haven't figured out how to get her here from the Cities." Without any other discussion, I walked across to the dinning room, picked up the phone and called my partner, Peter, at home. "Peter. Mom passed away this morning. I think I am doing OK. Patti is coming in on a 5:15 flight from Bozeman on Northwest, can you pick her up at the airport and bring her to Alexandria?" "Good. Thanks." The conversation continued, "I also need you to go into my den and get Mother's funeral plans off the hard drive on my computer. Bring it on a disk along with my lap-top. I also need you to get some extra clothes for me." As I look back now on the events of that day, the post-resurrection Christ was there. As Donnie and Dad and I sat there, devastated, Christ was there. With every phone call and every plate of ham buns and every cake and every hot dish that was brought to the door, Christ was there. When Peter showed up around 8:30 with Patti and my lap-top and extra clothes, Christ was there. My brother and I have never been close, and he has never been eager to understand the life of his gay brother. But a resurrection moment happened in the midst of that time of death and despair. About 10:00 that evening Donnie looked around and asked "Where's Peter?" I said he had headed back to Minneapolis. Donnie said, "You mean he just drove up to bring Patti and your stuff up here… he drove four and a half hours round trip, just for that?" And I said, "That's what a spouse does." and he would have stayed if I asked. But, he will be back for the funeral once it is schedule. What if… What if I had never said that? Donnie has never looked upon Peter and I's relationship the same ever since. What if I had not said anything? That transformation in Donnie and our family dynamics would have never happened. Nevertheless, we did have that conversation and at any other time it would have seemed to be not natural. The resurrection Christ was there in the midst of our mourning of my mother's passing (and as we sought to celebrate her life). Our faith tells us to believe in things that are not "natural." So, nevertheless, my dear friend was back at work this past week bringing joy to everyone she meets, being the hospitable presence of Christ in our midst. It may not seem "natural" to give up on this building and have faith that God will give you a new space, but the question becomes: "What if?" What if you don't? What if you hold on to what seems safe for now? What if you miss out on all the new possibilities because of doubts? These are questions of the heart and of the head. I told someone at my mother's funeral: theologically I know she's in a different place and that she will always be with me, just not on a physical level – mentally I could rationalize all of that in my mind. I just needed someone to explain it to my heart. The Gospel of John asks: "Have you believed because you have seen?" I think Thomas really does get a bad rap here, because we see the miracles of new life all around, even when we ask the "what if" questions. We may not have seen the resurrected Jesus, but we have seen the mighty workings of God and still we struggle between belief and doubt. Let's face it, faith is not "natural," but, nevertheless, every day I work with people on the margins of our society, the homeless, the hungry, the oppressed and I say "Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have come to believe." Brothers and sisters, the author of our contemporary text says: "You are a child of God." The Psalmist reminds us that "God shows us the path of life. In God's presence there is fullness of joy." This is not a promise for just some, but for ALL of us. Believe in the continuous resurrection power of the God of Jesus, and our God, even with your "What if" questions and your "it's not "natural" doubts; because, nevertheless, the Risen Christ (of whom you are an integral part) says to all of us, "Peace be with you!" and in those words, we will find the certainty of Easter hope that will sustain us for all the tomorrows to come. May it truly be so! |